Today is one of those days where I have to sit back and think.
Where have four years gone?
They’ve zoomed by, thats where they’ve gone.
When I look back I can’t beleive how much has changed. It’s madness.
It is my fourth anniversary with my boyfriend today. It may seem like nothing to some but to me, jeez it feels like a lifetime (in a good way may I add). He has made me into such a better person, one that tries to fret less, one that tries to enjoy each day and learn from the good, bad and the ugly.
I’m still working on it those things….ha.
But four years ago I wouldn’t of even acknowledged those things.
So what have I learnt?
Compromise. Oh yes thats a biggy. You can’t have everything your own way I’m afraid, even though your together you still need to both be able to grow and be your own person. When we first started seeing each other it mainly consisted of him playing his xbox all day while I watched… (you may wonder why I stayed, at the time….i had no idea). He used to have a huge cicrle of friends which consisted of more xbox. Numerous arguments would arise from that, I’d feel unwanted blah blah blah and from his point of you well he’d being doing it for years and for a girl to suddenly come along and mess up his social habits well as you can imagine, it’s difficult. But you both have to meet along the line somewhere and you end up falling into your own couple habits. So hang in there.
50/50. It is still something even after 4 years we are struggling with. Yes you got it, house chores. After being together for 2 years we decided to get our own place, putting into words it sounds so soon but when you know you know. Personally I feel like I do everything for the house and he comes up with every excuse under the sun for why he hasn’t done this that or the other. But he is getting better. We both understand what annoys one another within the house. For example I hate it when he doesn’t do any of the washing and magically thinks all his clothes get washed and hung up by a fairy and he hates it that I always forget to refill the water filter jug (I’m working on it). You learn to try and not annoy each other.
It’s an ongoing process and I’m sure there are a million things that I do that annoy him, but he can’t see this so we won’t mention it! Shhhhh.
Balance. When I first met Ezra I found it ever so difficult to share him with his friends. I mean I found someone who is my boyfriend and my bestfriend and why would I want to hang out with anyone else??? and it’s the ultimate worst when you don’t see them for a week/weekend. Don’t do it boys and girls.
You end up getting this really annoying attachment thing going on. I used to get so jealous when he went out with others and didn’t include me. I felt like a bridezilla….minus the bride bit. Maybe just a crazy girlfriend. I’ll go with that.
Yes I had my own friends but at the time, they were doing their own thing and I barely ever saw them.
You defintely need that balance between friends and your relationship. My friends are everyone I work and go to uni with so I get my balance there, and for Ezra well he has friends here there and everywhere but I love it when he comes home from being out with them, it’s like he’s had a social release which he doesn’t get from me. And boy do people need it. New faces and stories is refreshing and telling them to one another I think makes your relationship healthy.
There are so many more things that I could tell you I’ve learnt but… that could last a while.
Have you learnt anything from your relationships? I’d love to know.